Of Sons and lessons - Part 1

 

I rarely post about my family on social media, being a private person in a certain sense...many know this. But ever since Sep 2020, I have felt compelled to share my joy and gratitude for the beautiful, challenging, exciting and satisfying journey of watching my two sons grow into young men. This month I have officially become the shortest among the three of us. I know it's a line you've heard from zillions of mothers but I am going to say it anyways simply because that's how it feels......"It feels like just a moment ago that I received the new born in my arms ! Arre.....when did this happen? when did they grow taller than me". My heart seems to be wondering. :) 

The children have an age difference of 2 years and 2 weeks and this August Harshvardhan turned 16 and Yajat turned 14. Whew! And covid has brought us closer as well in the most unexpected ways. Discovering better each other's pain points, strengths and unknown talents like hair cutting and handling complex recipes.

However, as I step back and observe, I am thankful they have grown to be individuals who make time for school as well as their other pursuits. Kendriya Vidyalaya, the central government school they study in has also been supportive of their interests: particularly sports, music and literature.

As my elder son Harsh, completed grade 10 this year, I was glad that he was not bogged down by the 'marks pressure' and enjoyed the process of learning and exploration instead, choosing not to judge himself and his ability to engage with a subject, by a time-bound limited evaluation. Valuing instead his interest and enthusiasm and long-term possibilities.

Yajat too, has had an unapologetic thought- process of his own. "Yajat do you want A or B?" His answer would sometimes be "Both". "But you have to choose one Yajat". "Both" he would silently repeat! He is curious about people and offers a comfortable space for others to open up to him with their life stories ...be it a 4-year-old or a 74 year old.

Both Yajat and Harsh have been of immense help especially during the lockdown.

One: by being independent in many ways- studies and self-care etc. Two: Helping with housework both in home and outside. Three: helping me with my professional work.

This does not take away from the umpteen heated discussions we had regarding "gaming" and "screen time". But the fun part is negotiating and reaching common ground.

Now that they are growing up it feels at times like being with roommates in the hostel, except I have to once-in-a-while double up in the role of the hostel-warden also!!

They enjoy the company of books, movies, writing, photography, exploring music and musical instruments, playing basketball and football, & even indulging the younger children in the colony in some fun free-play like 'seven stones' :)

My mother tells me, "Your boys stop and hear us oldies out. I enjoy conversations with them. " They also sit and chat with my gang of fabulous grey-haired girls (I am lucky to have many such wise old women friends!)

I love the fact they can relate to young and old, an international artist from Sweden and a tribal from Chhattisgarh alike: being non-judgemental and open to what each place, person, culture and experience brings. And slowly exploring and seeking their own identity in the middle of all this.

I am grateful to so many people who have come into our lives offering guidance, support and much love as the three of us journeyed along.

The two of them have also been there for me all through and through. Cooking and attending to me on days when I am down, helping me with back end work for my shows and workshops, staying with extended family without complaint whenever I travelled. There are many times when I have sounded out issues with them and they have come up with lovely suggestions to problems. And one of the most lovable of all is the joy of them performing with me in my shows, recording my promo videos, composing music for my film & editing it, also directing me in their film and more such fun adventures.

We have had many simple small holidays together from forest schools, to alternative meets, to lion safari resorts and I hold each of these close to my heart. As Harshvardhan and Yajat shoot beyond my 5feet 8inches and soon might shoot their way out of this nest, I felt a strong desire to post about them today.

 Life, like for any of us has thrown its share of challenges. In my case, as a single mother, moreover with the choice of sticking with an unconventional profession such as storytelling. But the boys being my oldest and most critical fans: gave me strength, enthusiasm and confidence at every stage. So life has also been kindest with the love and care of these two warm souls.

Not to forget their teenage tantrums (at times), rolling eyebrows and other drama. And interestingly...the ruthless millennial-observations which they casually drop bang on-the-face! Customized & instant home-delivered memes! Constantly reminding me I guess, to take life with love and laughter, less seriously and without getting all mushy and rosy-eyed :)

On another note, I have to say that I am very thankful to my parents, my sister, brother-in-law and nieces, their paternal grand-parents and father, and so many of my good friends for their beautiful support and love. Special shout out to Divya Bhaskar, Bhaskar Srinivasan, Ananya Bhaskar, Anvita Bhaskar, Gayatri Ingle, Sammy Sahni, Khushbu Jain, Puspha Ramakrishnan, Dr Deewakar Goel, Vinita Singh, Subhashini Ganapathy, Chalapathi Rao L, Zarna Mohan Ji, Sudeshna Gupta Maasi & Tarit Uncle, Jeeva Raghunath, Mohit Garg, Shanti Swaroop, Meera Swaroop, Divya Vighneshwaram, Keerthika Rajaram, Jamila Shahnaz Sheriff, Sushma Dhawan, Purnima Ramakrishnan, Tulasi Akka, Padma Mahadevan, Sanjay Mudnaney, Reshma Gadkari Sharma, Marion Kenny, Shefali Malhotra, Norbert Kober, Jerker Fahlstrom, Priya-Sonal-Sandhya, Usifu Jalloh, J’Miah Radhi Nabawi, Dr Wajuppa Tossa, Paula Martin, Indira Mukherjee, Vividha Vyas, Kajal Goswami, and the list is long. I have missed out mentioning many. They are remembered with gratitude. 

 Also wish to thank all of you who have been with me in this magical journey of storytelling, education and training. So many strangers who have been sincere well-wishers. Many times, after a show or workshop or even over an email someone has expressed gratitude "Thank you for this Deepa. I wish and your family well." These blessings, I value. All the support, my sons and I, have deep gratitude for.

 Thankful for this roller-coaster ride gift of parenting, learning, being challenged, losing hope, finding strength and slowly learning to growing as the boys grew.

And wishing peace, health, strength, abundance and wisdom for us all.

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavanth!